Sun on the Leaves
by Nari-nick
Summary: She doesn't care about whatever barriers there are supposed to be between them. BxK.
1. Like Silver, like Rain

_I wanted to know what Bartimaeus really thinks about certain people...this is what I'd like him to think_

_Inspired by "the panic in me" by Elton John_

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**Like silver, like rain**

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He had a special laughter. One he only used when we were alone (as far as I knew).

Around his teacher he gave little chuckles. He barely ever laughed when his relatives were around. Girls made him smile in a way that was rather seductive, though I doubt he even knew that, and I never pointed it out to him. Anyway, what would he want with girls?

But _my_ laughter was different. It was clear and fresh, like silver and rain, and at times it sounded like music to me. I couldn't recall a master who had laughed about things I said. No, they were always insulted (not a _bit_ of humour they had), or maybe they just didn't dare.

Because laughing makes you vulnerable. Ptolemy never cared about hiding his feelings in front of me, and that was what made me like him in the first place.

His laughter soothed me. And for a few hours, those precious hours, I could forget that I was supposed to hate him, and that my thoughts about him were unnatural.

Somehow he knew how to fill that aching emptiness in me.

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_It's short, but it's only the beginning._

_There will definitely be more...but I will write more about Bartimaeus and Kitty I think. Please tell me what you think about it!_


	2. The Last Thing on my Mind

_Thank you so much everyone who was so kind to review!! Here's the next chapter and I hope you like it!_

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**The ****last thing on my mind**

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"Bartimaeus! Bartimaeus!"

I couldn't believe he'd really come. I mean yeah, he's ridiculously ambitious, no question. He wanted to do what no one had ever done before, go where no one ever goes. But I have to admit that I had doubts.

Until I heard him calling me.

He sounded scared at first, but there was also that tremble that told me how proud he was of himself, that he had really made it.

He had really come for me.

_He has come for you. _

I realized what it meant and suddenly I was all joy and life and energy, and anger above all. Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me? You have come for me. Congratulations, and thank you very much Ptolemy.

But…you are such an idiot.

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"Oh Rekhyt, there you are. Welcome back…"

The room was dark, and I suspected his intention in keeping it so. Of course I could see him very clearly nevertheless.

"there's a gap in your pentacle. You may come out."

For a moment I actually considered just going home. Trying to forget everything. Above all, this small figure laying in the pentacle, skin and bones, too weak to even raise a hand. How he'd brought up the strength for the summoning was beyond me.

I dashed out of my pentacle, swooped him up and laid him down on his bed. The whispered _thank you _was barely audible.

"I told you you were playing with fire" I said. He just smiled his damned what-do-_you_-know- smile.

I'm glad I can't cry because in that moment I felt like it.

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"Bartimaeus? Bartimaeus!"

She'd really come. For a split second I hated myself for prompting her to do it.

Then, for a split second I hated her for coming after me. What is it with you humans?! It's always the good ones that have to clean up the mess that…whatever.

All that mattered now was that she was here. I heard her fighting, I felt her giving up.

"Kitty!"

"Get lost!"

That's Kitty for you, Ladies and Gentlemen. I kinda liked her style.

"I thought you were asking for me", I stated rather dryly.

_Relax, Kitty._ I felt her fear—she didn't like my world. I wrapped my essence around her soothingly.

_Don't be scared. The last thing on my mind is to leave you. _

"I need your help."

I couldn't say no, of course not. My fate had been sealed when she called my name. I had to think of Ptolemy, I could see his light shine around her, hear his voice when she spoke to me.

_I would have thrown myself into a pit if fire for him, and the same was true for Kitty now._

_We're in this together. _

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_Yeah…I hope it isn't too much out of character. Please tell me what you think! And as there're probably many mistakes (I still don't have a beta -.-) will you tell me so I can correct them? Thanks guys XD_


	3. Sorry

_Thanks everyone who reviewed, I love you all XD _

_Oh, and I forgot to mention that the last chapter was inspired by "Relax", Mika._

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**sorry**

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„Hello, Kitty."

I'll never forget the look on her face.

Her eyes never left mine when she smudged the chalk on the floor, destroying her pentacle.

That tentative step toward me.

"You're trusting."

"I am."

She touched my arm.

"It's really me."

Later I asked her why she'd called me.

"I didn't want to believe that you…both were gone."

She'd given it a try, because she hadn't wanted to give up on me. I was seriously touched.

"I know that you…I don't mean to keep you from your home, really I'm sorry for…"

"Kitty…"

"…but Bartimaeus, I'm so lonely."

I stayed the night.

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_Sorry it's so short, actually it's a gap filler…I wrote the now-fourth chapter and then thought that something was missing in between. _

_So, the next chapter is written and I'll post it very soon…stay with me please? _:)_ And reviews make me happy!!_


	4. Smells

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_I promised a quick update! I wrote that kinda long ago, so I apologize for sappiness and bad writing in general _

_Conception, yes it was supposed to be oneshots...but now I think it will become more like a story where you can read the chapters in deliberate order...at least for now ;) _

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_**Smells**_

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Ptolemy had thought a long time about what bothered him about Bartimaeus. It wasn't his bold remarks or the hideous forms he sometimes wore.

They were sitting on the roof of his house. Night was about to fall, and their conversation had ceased. Ptolemy leaned his head to Bartimaeus' shoulder blades, which were those of a mighty lion at the moment.

"I know now what isn't right with you", he said, obviously very pleased with himself.

"Sorry?" the lion asked.

"I've been wondering for days what it is that doesn't feel right about you." the boy clarified.

"Ah. And what is it, if I may ask?"

"You don't have a smell of yourself."

The lion stretched his paws and shook his mane. "I know. I usually don't bother with smells. Most humans don't notice if something has a smell or not."

"Well, I'm not most humans", Ptolemy replied cheerfully. "And I think it's strange. In this guise you don't even smell of fur. It's almost as if you weren't there."

The next moment the smell of dry and clean fur filled his nose, mixed with a subtle odour of fresh blood. "Now you smell like a lion", the boy smirked "But still not like Bartimaeus."

The lion grunted and the smell changed. Now he reeked of grass, soft wool and cool mornings.

"Better?"

"Not really. It doesn't fit you, if you know what I mean."

Lemons, copper and incense. Rain, wet hair, lavender. Blood, teeth, hot summer days. But the boy just shook his head.

The river, a spicy meal, soft hands, sugar.

Ptolemy bit his lip and snuggled closer to Bartimaeus. "Now...that reminds me of my mum." he said absently.

The smell disappeared. The lion stirred and carefully turned to face the boy. He laid his forelegs on Ptolemy's shoulders and buried his nose in the boy's neck, where a human's odour is hidden. Ptolemy smiled silently and absently stroked the lion's back.

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_more than 2000 years later_

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"Do you do this on purpose?" Kitty asked one rainy day when they were sitting in a café in London.

"What am I doing?" Bartimaeus asked.

"Sometimes you smell of something, sometimes you don't. To be more precise, there's an odour around you whenever you are Ptolemy."

The boy slightly tilted his head and smirked. "Is that so?"

"Yes." She took one of his dark and slender hands and held it near her nose. "You smell of...clean air after the rain. Ink and parchment. And...something I can't put my finger on."

Bartimaeus pinched her nose and withdrew his hand. She looked at him. "That's him, I guess?"

The boy shrugged, smiled and said nothing.

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_Note: it's not supposed to be slashy...but you may read into this whatever you like ___

_The German football team is in the big European CS tonight...if they win I will update soon XD _

_Yeah I'm insanely optimistic._

_Love you guys!_


	5. In the Dark

_So…this was not__ a quick update, unfortunately…thanks for your good wishes, conception, but our team has been atomized._

_Anyway, I decided that this story will eventually be B/K!! I just can't resist…_

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**In the Dark**

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„Bartimaeus?"

„Hm."

„Are you asleep?"

„Hm?"

„…obviously not."

„Why should I sleep? I don't need to."

"Hm. I can't sleep…I'm just wondering…"

"Hm?"

"You don't _need_ to? Or aren't you _able_ to sleep?"

"…I don't need to, so why would I waste my time sleeping?"

"Dunno…_"per chance to dream"_, as Shakespeare put it?"

"Oh, you're reading that stuff now? How very sophisticated, Miss Jones."

"You can't see but I'm sticking out my tongue at you because you're an idiot."

"You can't see but I'm rolling my eyes because I don't care."

"Hm. Whatever. So…do you?"

"Do what?"

"Dream."

"…never tried it."

"Oh."

"Hm."

"There must be something when you close your eyes. What do you see?"

"…the insides of my eyelids?"

"Yeah, right…now _I'm_ rolling my eyes."

"OK…wait. … …I see my home."

"Hm. You know you can go home whenever you like."

"I know. I'll go…when you're asleep."

"Right. Except that I'm so awake I won't sleep soon."

"Hm. It's alright. I could try dreaming a little in the meantime:"

"You could."

"What do you dream of?"

"…I…return to other times. Wouldn't that be something for you, too?"

"Hm, maybe. But…how it's now, it's quite alright, too. Don't you think?"

"…yes."

"Sleep well."

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_Please __review if you liked it! Or if you didn't. Or if you wanna make me happy :) Love love_


	6. Stare

_Hello, thank you for the reviews.__ Sorry this is short...the next one will be a bit longer. I swear. I hope. ...we'll see _:)

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**Stare**

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One day in early May we were taking a lazy walk in London. The sun made Kitty's hair glint and gleam like molten silver.

I'd have thought she'd dye it, but to my surprise she had decided against it. That gave her a rather unusual appearance, because otherwise she almost looked her old self again; the lines had mostly left her face. Yes, she looked older somehow, but it rather fitted her, as her mind had been grown-up long since.

Whatever, I wasn't half as interested in the window displays of the numerous clothes shops as Kitty, so I sat down on a bench and watched her from afar. People turned their heads at her, and I didn't like that. People stared at her, downright gawked. Hello? Hadn't they ever seen an inventive hairstyle?

Last time I checked, staring was considered impolite. Really, you humans have no manners.

Slowly Kitty ambled over to my bench.

"Something wrong? You look rather...gloomy?"

"…you're being stared at."

She shrugged. "I know. I'm used to it." She tilted her head. "I don't want to hide what happened to me, so I don't care if people stare."

I didn't reply. She grinned. "Any problems with that?"

I snorted and stuck out my tongue. "Yeah, I hate not being in the thick of things." With that, I changed Ptolemy's dark hair into a bright green punk-hairdo.

Kitty laughed her new laughter, bright and clear, a short rising melody, and pulled me up. Together we continued our walk, my arm around her shoulder.

If I had a problem with people staring at her? Please. (1)

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(1) ...the problem was, sometimes when lost in thoughts...

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I ...caught myself staring at her.

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_my first footnote, yeah XD __would you be so kind and review?! Please? See you next chapter _:)


	7. Cold

_Hi everyone! Conception, thank you for pointing out the grammar thing, I fixed that Welcome Allendra my new best friend_ XD _I hope you like this chapter!_

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**cold**

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Kitty summoned him whenever she felt lonely. She always asked if he minded, and he always said no, he didn't mind.

She never told him that she thought of him as her best friend—she could imagine him laughing his head off at such a statement. But she knew he liked and cared for her, and that was enough.

Sometimes she saw how his eyes seemed to look into himself, and his mind drifted far away. Then she wished she could see what he saw. He always said, maybe someday.

And sometimes when they were together he seemed so far away that he almost wasn't there anymore. His eyes were open but she couldn't look into them, as if invisible barriers blocked her sight. Then there was a loneliness around him that made her shiver.

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One night she woke up and he was still there. She'd thought he'd gone, as he could go whenever he liked. As Ptolemy, he sat in her old armchair, wearing his usual London outfit and a scarf.

"Why are you still here?" she asked sleepily.

"Just because I can." he said. "And I'll just go when I feel like it, also because I can."

She looked at him insistently. "And why are you wearing a scarf?"

He shrugged, looking rather sheepish. "I felt cold?"

"Ah. How come? You don't even breathe. How can you feel cold?"

Somehow he didn't have a convincing answer for that. "I don't know. I just do."

"Does the scarf help?"

He grimaced. "No."

A question came to her mind and she tried to ignore her reason that screamed at her _"Don't say it dude! It won't help! Won't help! Won't help! Nooo! Not good!"_ but...

"…want a piece of blanket?"

He downright goggled at her. She hated her Reason. Reason was an unconvincing idiot.

Finally he shrugged. "Why not." To hell with Reason.

He shuffled over. When he lay down Kitty was already sleeping again. Her nearness warmed his essence.

He didn't bother with the blanket.

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_please review!! _3


	8. Number One

_Hi everyone and thanks for the kind reviews! As for the OOCness, LunaCatt, I try my best but I also see what you mean_..._but I believe that characters can develop in a story and that events may come up that make them act different than they would in canon...sorry I can't describe what I exactly mean. On the other hand you're so right: It's fiction_ XD _happy reading, everyone, and I apologize for shortness._

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**Number one**

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Kitty shouldn't know what I think about her.

I'm pretty sure she knows I care for her. I'm also sure she's glad about it, as she's quite alone nowadays.

The thing that really shouldn't bother me is, I'm not so sure if she cares for me, too. Not that I need being cared for, right?

But…

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Phh.

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Er.

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Whatever. I just like to think that I'm her Number One.

Yep.

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She definitely shouldn't know what I think.

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_there are definitely longer chapters to come, please be patient with me nad please review!! No, I'm not too proud to beg for it, because I love them!_


	9. Friends Stuff

_Thanks for the kind reviews for the ridiculously short chapter! Joe, yours made me so happy and I hope you'll stick with the story! On with it!_

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**Friends stuff**

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At some point Kitty realized that summoning Bartimaeus to her was like calling someone on the phone, asking if he'd like to drop by. And though he never complained and always said that he liked to see her, she felt as if she was stealing his time.

So one day she suggested that he'd use his time on earth to wander around, have a good look at it and all. He agreed not without suspicion ("If you don't _want_ to see me, you just don't _need_ to call me, you know?" "Shut up."), and promised to visit her before he left for the Other Place again.

When he returned four days later, he found her watching some sappy soap opera.

"Weren't you reading Shakespeare a month ago? And now you're watching this brain-killing stuff?" he asked.

She stuck out her tongue at him. "Sometimes I need to be reassured that there are still some people who are worse than me…you know…that there's still hope that one happy day I'll be a really good person."

"You already are, that's why I won't laugh at you…or point out that your argumentation is bullshit."

She grinned when he joined her on the couch and made a great show of being interested in the film.

"No really" he said after a few minutes "why are you watching this shit?"

Kitty had expected the question, but she took her time with the answer. Finally she said:

"It's about friendship, see? These guys are doing friends-stuff all the time. You know, going out, cinema, cafés, football in the park, hanging out, those things. It's nice watching them cause I never did those things with my friends, and now they're all gone."

"That's. So. Depressing", Bartimaeus stated and switched off the TV.

"It's true", Kitty said. "They're all dead, except Jacob and you. And-" , she stopped. _And for your own good I can't let you be here all the time and that makes me sad_, was what she'd never tell him.

A funny look on the djinn's face…

"A friend, Kitty Jones?" he asked.

"Yes…" she hardly dared to look at him. His voice startled her. She swallowed and chose her words carefully:

"Wish to be something else?"

Bartimaeus grinned suddenly. "If anything, the best one."

Releave, releave, releave. "You are."

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Later they sat in a little café, a giant ice cream portion on the table between them.

"Happy now, doing 'friends-stuff'?"

"Yup" Kitty looked up from her ice cream. It's just…so complicated. I mean…" _to hell with 'what I'd never tell him'! Go me! _"Dealing with my bad conscience and all."

Bartimaeus raised one eyebrow. "Bad conscience?"

"For calling you so often."

He dipped his finger into the ice cream and smeared it on her nose.

"Die, demon" she commented.

"For being an idiot" he informed her. "I wouldn't be here _if I didn't want to_. It's complicated, but it's alright. And who else has our style? So shut up, eat your ice cream and clean your face. In that order."

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"_If anything, the best one."_

Kitty couldn't get rid of his voice in her head that night.

And of that…treacherous tinge of disappointment.

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_that was a bit longer hu? I'm waiting for your reviews, friends! I like our little B/K club...it's nice and cozy. I wonder how you came to support this ship as it's rather unusual. Care to tell me? I'm curious! _

_Till the next chapter guys--love_


	10. Without Wanting To

_Hello, thanks for the reviews Abarrane (I hope you'll stick with the story :)), Conception, Allendra, Riiko Shea and especially Veracious Fantasy Devotee...you made my day by saying that you came to like B/K because of my story...thank you and welcome on board :) I hope you all enjoy this chapter!_

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**Without wanting to**

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From where I sat I could see her sleeping form at the other side of the tiny room. The cat's eyes glowed in the dark, never twinkling. It was cold. I could see her shivering slightly.

Her blanket had half fallen out of her bed, this was no peaceful sleep, sometimes she mumbled and twitched. She still had nightmares, after all those months.

The cat left its place on the windowpane and hopped on the narrow bed. I could see the goose bumps on her bare shoulders now, illuminated by the pale moonlight, her skin an eerie bluish hue.

I became Ptolemy.

I looked at her for a long time. My hand reached out, pulled the blanket over her waist. She sighed in her sleep and turned to face the wall.

And then my fingers brushed her waist accidentally; my hand came to rest, and suddenly my whole being was filled with the awareness that I was touching her.

And without wanting them to, my fingers crept down her body to her hip, where her top was leaving a narrow stripe of skin exposed.

I touched her skin.

I closed my eyes.

Her skin was so smooth I barely felt it, and it was cold, so cold. I think I felt nothing but that connection and didn't think of much either. I just sat there in the dark, my fingertips absently drawing tiny circles on her skin.

"That tickles", she mumbled sleepily.

I felt like dying and screaming. (1)

The circling fingers stopped.

"Sorry." My voice failed to hit the intended tone between indifference and casualty.

Silence.

Carefully I leaned towards her head. Silent breathing. She had fallen asleep again.

I left her world, hoping that in the morning, she'd think she'd dreamt.

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(1) In that order.

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_So...how I came to support B/K: I used to love N/K and even wrote an unbelievable sappy story about them...but then, one night I had a dream about Bartimaeus and Kitty, becoming closer or even being together, I don't really remember, but: that dream was like some kind of revelation to me...there was never another pairing for me since that day. Yes, it's strange. Maybe someday I'll write the dream down._

_Please review and make me happy! _


	11. Echo Sounder

_Hello and hurray! an update at last! Sorry it took me so long, thank you my reviewers you have no idea how much you ROCK! _

_This chapter is a bit experimental, I hope you like it. It's inspired by the song "Echolot" by Wir sind Helden, one of my favourite German bands. Enjoy!_

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**Echo sounder**

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_Come and look. This is unexpected._

_The__ bed is a raft, see?_

_She wants to get out, out on the ocean. Come on, cut it loose she tells him, and he frees it of its bonds. _

_Look__! They are flowing now, the water is like liquid lead, heavy and pasty, flowing slowly, so slowly, grey shadows everywhere, above, below and all around, passing lazily._

_She__ sees stars in the water, and they are in the middle of it all, and she feels like going on like this forever._

_And__ then he moves beside her, and suddenly a veil is lifted and she thinks she can see his heart beating, and it creates stirs in the sea around them._

_And then she knows that they are going deeper and deeper...eventually to the very grounds. _

_She__ opens her mouth but no sound comes out. He puts a finger to her lips as if she had spoken and disturbed the wonder. _

_There is sparkling dust all around them, dancing, and she leans closer to him and they sink, blissfully, deaf and mute, and they wait for something they can't name._

_And__ the stars twinkle in the water and they are flowing, flowing, flowing. _

_And__ there is his heart again...that stinging, burning red bit, and she strokes it and hopes it won't hurt any longer..._

_Oh, don't stop just yet, his heart's so dear to hers, and then she's clinging to his lips and they are going deeper and deeper, to the very grounds. _

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But somewhere in her mind there is a little shaded place that reminds her that she's only dreaming, and it makes her wish she wouldn't have to wake up.

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_Please review! I love reviews! The next chapter will come sooner, promise! Until then friends_


	12. Will you ever?

_Hey ho! Thanks for the reviews! If anyone is interested in the song, I could post a link on my profile?! It's really beautiful...the atmosphere in "I still remember", Bloc Party, inspired this chapter. Oh, and at the end there's a quote from "Nana" by Ai Yazawa. Enjoy!_

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**Will you ever**

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Kitty was surprised: when her work in the Frog was done that evening, Bartimaeus had not gone home but been waiting for her outside the pub.

They took a lazy walk beside the Thames, finally found an almost dry place where they could sit down by the river.

They watched the sparkling water in silence; sometimes Bartimaeus hummed a song that he claimed was somehow stuck in his head for days and made him crazy, but Kitty liked the soft melody. She tried to think of nothing and just enjoy the peaceful moment, until a question came to her mind that she'd almost forgotten.

"Say Bartimaeus…"

"Hm."

"Remember when I summoned you for the first time?"

"Sure."

"You told me that you'd kill me if you got the chance."

"Did I say that?"

She tried to remember the situation. "More or less. I just wondered…"

"…if I'd done it." The djinni snorted. "Why should I harm you?"

Kitty smiled contently. "…I knew it." She thought of how their meeting had ended at that time. Her smile faded. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you then."

Bartimaeus lay back and gazed absently at the stars. "Forget it already. You've done more than enough."

He turned his head and looked at her and smiled that smile that Kitty liked so much, that true smile, and a warm feeling bloomed in her.

She lay down on her back beside her friend. The city's noise faded to them as they watched the stars and clouds. Their fingers almost touched.

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_Do you remember that night we just sat by the river?_

_Do you remember the song you hummed?_

_I'd like to hear it again…_

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_I wonder…_

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…_Will you ever ask me for it…?_

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_Yeah, will he? We'll see...I think this is slowly getting to the point, but there will be some more chapters. _

_One thing...I'm very honoured that so many people added my story to their alerts...I would be very happy if some who did would leave me a review, that would be nice...I want to know what you think, see? I'm so curious ;) _

_Until the next chapter, friends!_


	13. There Not There

_Thanks for the kind reviews Conception, Allendra, Shadowraining and Riiko, I love you all! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I wrote it yesterday when I was sad because my friends went to the Coldplay concert and I didn't have a ticket...what a frustrating evening :P _

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**There **

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That girl could be so dumb sometimes.

How many times had I told her that her body was much older than it looked? That there was a thing called "immune system" that tends to get weak as the body ages? That her immune system had practically vanished after her visit to the Other Place?

…but did she listen? No. Kitty had caught a cold on our day at the river bank.

The next morning she lay in bed, unable to speak properly, too weak to get up, all in all almost scary in her helplessness. I made her breakfast, washed her face, wrapped cold tissues around her wrists and legs to break down the fever.

In the evening she could croak a weak "thank you", and there was something in her eyes I didn't quite understand. I was pretty sure she hated that I saw her like this, and wished for me to leave. But…I knew she wouldn't be strong enough to summon me for at least a few days.

I stayed. Stayed with her, laying beside her on her bed while she was sleeping peacefully at last, her hand curled around mine.

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**Not there**

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She's not quite awake yet; she needs a moment until she understands why she has woken up.

As if still dreaming she sees a bow of light on the dark ceiling and rises, zombie, to go into the kitchen, blanket held close around her.

"Hey", she says, her voice rough and breaking.

"Hey", the answer comes. "You should stay in bed, you're not healthy enough to get up", the boy adds.

The girl sits down beside him on the narrow bench, rests her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes. "But you were not there anymore."

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_I know...short. sorry XD_

_reviews are welcomed with a happy smile and a little kiss. until the next chapter guys! _


	14. How Bartimaeus Is

_I love you, my reviewers! I just now realized how great it is from you to always drop me a line when there's not even a _plot_ you could comment on _XD_ so thanks a thousand times conception, Allendra, Riiko, shadowfire, Saint Mirror and sophia666 (welcome to my little story, by the way)! _

_I've tried something new here...I wrote from Kitty's POV. I hope it worked...enjoy!_

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**How Bartimaeus is?**

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Hu.

Not easy…no one could claim to really know him, see? It's not what he wants, so it doesn't happen.

How I would describe him?

…sometimes there's this boy with the warm smile. It's a smile that makes you feel as if you're something special. And then sometimes his gaze becomes distant somehow and he's in another world…then you can see how time slowly flows by when you look into his dark, dark eyes.

What is he looking at then? Who is he thinking about? No one will ever know. That prat just loves being a mystery.

Spending time…no, being together with Bartimaeus is like catching snow. He's there, but I suspect that my hand can never really reach him.

Which is, I sometimes think, quite a pity. But most of the time his mere presence is enough for me. I can be strong because of him.

What makes me strong is my knowledge that I did something right once in my life, my journey to the Other Place. It gives me hope that my life will be all right eventually.

The Other Place…I think I might like to try it again one day.

When I think about it at night, I wish I could have enjoyed it more…I ache for a feeling of unity and comfort. I think of Bartimaeus and me, being together at his home.

And for now, what propels me forward is the strength of that memory.

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_by the way, I wrote this to distract me from thinking too much about the last chapter from conception's story...I think my face might stay just how I described it to you, pal. that's very not pretty, and people stare. Is it very pathetic to beg for an update in my own authors's note? probably. Forget what I said, I'm begging for reviews instead. _


	15. When I Wake Up Again

_Oh God, I'm so ill...well good for you, because I couldn't sleep when the cough slowly killed me, and I wrote this... thanks for the reviews Conception, Riiko, Allendra, dyingimmortal (dude, you made me laugh...XD), Kelcia (No it's not over yet, and I hope you stick with me!) and shadowfire (don't worry, no one will die O.o). I hope you like this fever-and-crazyness-stuff!_

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**When I wake up again**

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Something touches his hand, something soft and cool and weak.

"Hey." The voice is hoarse from not being used for so long. Bartimaeus looks up and smiles at the girl in the white bed who watches him with one tired eye: the other is covered by a white patch and the bandage that's wrapped around her head.

"Hey", the answer is silent. "…how do you feel?"

Kitty lifts her hand, so slowly it seems the effort costs her much, and gently touches the boy's cheek with her fingertips. "I've known better."

Bartimaeus gives a nervous laugh. His gaze gets stuck on the cuts and bruises on Kitty's white face and suddenly he wants to take her into his arms and feel she's safe but he doesn't dare, he doesn't want to hurt her.

"You were…lucky." Ridiculous, saying such a thing at her sight. He kneels down and props his elbows up on the mattress.

"I mean...you've been attacked by demons, chased by mad afrits, nearly been killed by a golem and a mercenary and oh yes, nearly lost your life and soul in the Other Place, but it's an_ accident_ that nearly gets you in the end."

Kitty laughs softly and grimaces as it hurts her face. "I feel like I've been run over by a train."

"Actually, it was a bus", the djinni says and they chuckle, the tension is gone. Kitty tries to sit up and Bartimaeus stands up at once to help her, rearranges the pillows until she's comfortable. Leaning over her he pauses for a moment, and they look at each other without a word.

Then he carefully puts a hand behind her head and leans towards her. Eyes closed, they press their foreheads together.

"Sorry for making you worry" Kitty whispers.

"Don't be silly. This isn't your fault", the djinni says hoarsely before pulling back.

He doesn't say that he can't remember feeling so relieved in his whole life, that he's ridiculously happy that there are still the two of them. And that after three days of watching her sleeping a cold fear had taken over him, a fear that she'd never wake up again.

Kitty can't fight her tiredness any longer, the medicaments win her over, and she whispers barley audible: "Will you be there…" and her voice disappears before she can finish the question, but in her head she ends it before she falls asleep _"…when I wake up again."_

Bartimaeus doesn't have to answer, but before he gets up he places the softest of kisses on her forehead like a promise.

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_I like this chapter...how about you? and do you think your reviews can make me well again? I think so! see ya people! _


	16. Something

_I think your reviews healed me! Thank you shadowfire, dyingimmortal, LunaCatt, conception, Kelcia (you noticed the narrator style change! cookies for you!!), Joeylejoker (I must admit, I didn't quite understand what you meant...anyway thanks for the attempted help, and I hope you like this chapter better :3 ), Riiko, Allendra and annatari...I didn't forget anyone did I? And now that I'm well again I think it's time for Kitty to get well, too. Please enjoy!_

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**Something**

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In the two weeks Kitty had to spend in hospital, she had much time to think.

Unfortunately, her thoughts led in only one direction… and she couldn't help it, but when she closed her eyes it was his face she saw…this dark face, the tousled dark hair, the clever, sparkling eyes.

The face that wasn't really Bartimaeus', but that had become so very dear to her that she almost didn't make the difference anymore.

But it was only now, in those dreadfully boring weeks, that she fully realized that the djinni had become the most important person in her life; that she wanted him to be with her always; that it hurt her that this wasn't possible.

But what the hell did that mean?!

She could guess but didn't like the thought at all…and how would she know for sure anyway? Had she ever been… in love before? Surely, she thought, there must've been _someone_…

Jacob? No, not really.

Nathaniel? Definitely not. They had made their peace with each other in the end, had become allies, and yes, she had been sad when he died…but she had only really known him for a few hours, maybe they had even become friends…but nothing more. End of the story.

Though she still couldn't define what exactly she felt for Bartimaeus, Kitty just couldn't think of someone she'd ever had similar feelings for.

And then there were those thoughts that crossed her mind whenever she pictured his face…

…what would happen…

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…if she touched his cheeks, caressed his forehead?

…if she pulled him close, buried her face in his neck?

…_what would happen if they kissed?_

_Would he run away? _

_Would he stay…?_

And then?

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A beautiful black panther appeared in the opposite pentacle. Upon seeing Kitty its eyes lit up happily and it stepped out of the circle.

"You're well again!"

Kitty nodded but didn't move. She noticed that her heartbeat sped up, she felt warm all over suddenly; and last but not least she felt doomed more with every second.

Bartimaeus took another form: now he resembled Ptolemy, but looked taller and older. This was the guise he often used lately when they left the flat.

He carefully put a hand under Kitty's chin and inspected the nearly healed cuts on her neck and cheek.

"But you don't look too well, actually."

Kitty pulled away and licked her dry lips. If only the white noise in her ears would go away!

"You should sit down, you look like you'd collapse any second." _And why the hell made the worry in his voice made her feel so damn happy instead of guilty?!_

"No, I…" she swallowed. "I need to tell you something."

"OK. Fire away."

"But don't laugh. And don't interrupt. …preferably, don't say anything."

Bartimaeus raised an eyebrow. "Aaalright…"

Kitty took a step backwards. "The thing is…the accident was my fault. I ran on that street without even looking. Because…because I saw you on the other side. And then there was nothing else on my mind than to get to you."

Bartimaeus opened his mouth and closed it again.

"And actually, most of the time I wish you could stay here all the time."

Now the djinni's mouth fell open and he stared at her.

"And…remember when I asked you what you'd like to be to me? For a moment I had hoped you'd say that you'd like to be…more."

Silence fell upon them.

Finally, Bartimaeus coughed. "That's it?"

Kitty looked at him with knitted eyebrows. She supposed she looked quite desperately, if not downright pathetic. "Yes."

"…alright." The djinni scratched his neck nervously. "Er…" he bit his lip. He took a tiny step towards her. "You know…maybe when you asked me…I should have said what I really thought, hu?"

Now it was Kitty's turn to stare. "And that would be?"

Bartimaeus buried his hands in the pockets of his jeans and held her gaze. "That…I…that you…and me…dammit! I mean…you and me together, that would surely be…something", he ended rather lamely.

"…something", Kitty echoed.

"Yeah like…something good."

They stared as if it was a staring-contest.

Then Kitty slowly stepped towards him, until she was so close their naked toes lightly touched. She raised a hand and carefully touched his cheek, caressed his forehead, trailed over his ears, jaw line, chin, neck, shoulder.

She kissed him.

Pulled away and looked at him searchingly.

"You look like you expect me to run away screaming or something", he stated.

"Don't you dare, idiot", she said before she kissed his grinning mouth again.

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_Happy for them? I am. And no, I don't think I can let them go like that. I want to write at least one more chapter. Please let me know what you think. _


	17. Lately they laugh so very often

_I know this comes late, and I'm sorry...the thing is, I'm very VERY unsure about this chapter and that's why I couldn't bring myself to posting it until now...I've never written something like this before. I don't know if the content is unappropiate, but after all they're grown up, huh? Now you can probably guess what awaits you in this chapter^^. thanks for the kind words Riiko, conception, Joe, Allendra, shadowfire and Kelcia!_

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**Lately they laugh so very often and he likes it**

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Kitty vaguely wonders why his shirt smells so good…she buries her face in his collar to take the smell in, but two strong hands capture her face and then she looses herself in the kiss.

Between them, nothing, not the tiniest gap. She grins when their clothes fall and they laugh when they search their way to the bed.

Later she doesn't remember when exactly they lay down, because now there's nothing on her mind but the touch of his hands and the heat.

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Bartimaeus closes his eyes when soft kisses rain down on him. The touch is strange and alien but he likes it, and finds himself hoping that she won't stop.

Her delicate fingers draw invisible lines on his naked skin, they move up and down and right and left and everywhere.

Then her lips become _their_ lips, their mouths begin a vivid dance, chuckling and laughing now and then, and he forgets time.

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The white in his eyes and a look she can't quite read. Because there's so much in those eyes that she can't tell where her over boarding imagination stops and reality begins.

How could he be so close, how could she let him come so close, and who had started this again?

Kitty doesn't know, and she doesn't care about whatever barriers there are supposed to be between them: she chases them away with a kiss, he denies them with his carefree laughter.

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A burst of light behind his eyes.

He's blind, he opens his mouth but no sound comes out. He's completely in her arms now, nowhere but. He hears her breathing heavily and tightens the embrace, kisses her blushed cheek.

Their gazes meet and they have to laugh again, lately they laugh so very often and he likes it! Gently he takes her face in his hands and feels strangely happy, because this face is _his_ face, the one that the girl has reserved for him exclusively.

Her chin rests on his chest so very trustingly; he turns his head to kiss her. Then she closes her eyes and he strokes her bare back, their fingers are entwined.

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She feels how he pulls the sheet over her waist, how his one hand comes to rest on her back. She snuggles her face into his chest and wants the moment to last, preferably forever.

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He squeezes her hand and the moment doesn't have the time to pass.

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_Please tell me what you think. And no, I also can't finish like _this_, so: still not the last chap. See ya, friends!_


	18. Why I like Kitty Jones?

_Friends, this is finally the last chapter of this story. I want to thank everyone who ever left me a comment, especially Conception and Allendra. Everyone, your reviews always made my day. I hope you like this chapter...(I'm sorry it's so short again ;). Again, thanks for staying with the story till the end! Enjoy!_

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**Why I like Kitty Jones?**

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Not that you would understand…

But I guess it's in her eyes. There's that certain resolution…determination…passion most of the time ((I like _that_!)), reason and craziness, humour and such an incredible dry sarcasm…

Yep, all that I like is in her eyes- a light that no effort can extinguish.

Not enough reason for me to break the habits of our kinds?

But see, she's not really of _your_ kind, not really. She's so _strong, _stronger than most human beings.

Even if it's dark and tough ((and that's pretty much a summary of her life)) she goes straight ahead, and justice is her lighthouse.

Even if she's crushed and defeated, no matter how many times, I just know that she'll always stand up again.

...No, I don't think I romanticize her person.

There was that day when she had to read in the newspaper that her dad had died. And her name wasn't under the obituary. Her mum hadn't put her name under that damn thing. She no longer belonged to her family. She was just as dead as her fool of a father.

But she went to the funeral, she did. She just faced it.

Boy, I was so ridiculously proud of her that day.

And it's just what I needed after all what I've been through since Ptolemy made me leave him.

Kitty to me, is spring after winter, and sun on the leaves.

((Yes I know that's sappy, but since when do I care what _you_ think?))

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_I treasure every bit of her._

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_I'm a bit weepy...it's the first chaptered story I finished XD btw, now that the title is explained, it's a quote from "The Lord of the Rings". To me it's one of the most powerful descriptions of happiness I know. _

_Fanart fans: I made a few Bartimaeus pics, and maybe you're interested? the link is in my profile. _

_Everyone who reviews, as I can't thank and reply in the next chapter I'll do it on the review page. Thanks for reading this story! I hope to hear from you again when my next story comes up!_


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